We had a rough week last week, no I mean a really really rough week. Toward the end of the week I called Mike and said "well whatever doesn't kill us will make us stronger right?" he replied "yes, but I am afraid this might kill us."
For the last few weeks the kids have been struggling to get used to their new lives in Texas. Some days have been better than others. The worst being the night they were all bawling at the same time telling us they really wanted to go home. "When school starts everything will be so much better" we kept telling them "you will meet tons of new friends and you will feel a lot better."
School starts.
I drop Teegan off and while he is a bit nervous I think he is more excited than anything. He sits down at his desk with confidence and I know he is going to be just fine. As I am leaving the teacher asks if he will be riding the bus or if I will pick him up. "Pick him up" I say and she asks "here or in the carpool lane?" "Here" Thinking she is asking a lot of questions. I guess that is good.
That afternoon I had the cable/phone/internet guys coming to get things set up. I let them know I needed to leave by 2:45 and they said they will be close but should be just fine. 2:40 came and I told them I had to go, "we are almost done" they said. 2:45 came and they said we are almost done they just needed to get this and that ( I wasn't listening at this point)I said "well I have to leave I will be back." "But wait we are almost done Ma'am" "Sorry! I will be back" I yell as I am running down the stairs.
I race to the school (already late) weave through the long lines of cars and find a parking spot, just as I am about to jump out a teacher comes racing out "you can't park there! you can't park there!" "Where do you want me to park? I am new." I ask (very calmly I might add but annoyed) I get the car moved run to the front door, swing it open to find every other parent in the school PACKED like sardines in the entry way. "what is going on?" I ask the parent next to me. "Once you get to the front you give them your child's name, they call them on the walkie talkie, and then they are walked down from the rainbow room (holding area) and given to you". This is going to take all day I am way at the back of the line/mess. "I have cable guys at my house" I say. Eventually they got more people taking names and I just so happened to be right where one of them started so it wasn't to much longer before Teegan and I were running back out the door to get home to the cable guys who were sitting waiting for me when we got home. Oh well they needed a break right?
Although Landon was a nervous he decided he wanted to ride the bus to school, the bus was way late (like school was stating) but other then that he got off to a good start.
We can't find a bus for Whitney so I took her to school. She was a nervous wreak but she got out of the car and walked into that big building anyway. I told her I would pick her up but that I would be late because we were picking Landon up (there school ends at the same time). That afternoon we go to pick up Landon he seems a bit tense and is very quiet, and head to Whitney's school. We get there 30 minutes after her school ended. "High school really sucks when you don't have any friends!" she yells with tears in her eyes as she gets in the car and then looks out the window. I decide to give her a minute. We ride along in silence. I finally say "what about Maddie?" (a girl from our ward)"yeah I saw her in the hall but we don't have any classes" she says very calmly. "what about the girls on your soccer team" "yeah I ate lunch with one of them." "You call that no friends?" Landon says from the back seat. "I didn't talk to anyone all day Whitney". We ride in silence again.
Whitney goes to soccer practice that night.
Tuesday morning starts early, Whitney and I get up at 5:30 to get to seminary by 6:00, she is nervous to go in. I drive home and get Teegan up. He says he can't wake up this early, we have got to find him a new school. Grumpy morning and we head to the bus. The bus is late and we were early. I get home to find Landon crying that he has a stomach ache. "Don't be so nervous you are going to do fine" I tell him. Whitney and I walk out to get in the car while he walks out to catch the bus. "I don't feel so good I am going to throw up" Landon says as he runs back inside. I take a nervous Whitney to school. Mike calls on my way home and says "he is kind of green but he is on the bus." I asked if he threw up and he said "that or hyper ventilated I am not sure he was in the bathroom."
It didn't take much more then an hour and the school nurse called me. He threw up at school. I went to get him but am still not sure it is not just nerves.
I am just on my way out to meet Teegan at the bus stop (they won't let him off without a parent) when the phone rings. "The school has been trying to call you" Mike says excitedly. "They have Teegan, they wouldn't let him ride the bus because he doesn't have a bus pass" "what the heck is a bus pass?" I say "I have not idea just go get him". I run to the school get to that front door again but this time school has been out long enough there are only a few parents. "what's your child's name?" she ask "Teegan Maxfield", she repeats it into the walkie talkie. We wait. "What was his name again" she asks after a bit. "Teegan Maxfield. He was supposed to ride the bus home but you guys wouldn't let him because he didn't have some bus pass, what is a bus pass?" "Oh" she doesn't answer my question and starts telling the story to another women standing behind the door that we are not allowed to go through. "I am sure he is on the bus" the other lady says, "we can call the bus driver and they can let us know if he is on it or not..." "No, he is not on the bus" I interrupt "I wanted him on the bus but you all just called me and would not put him on the bus" "Oh,what's his name? lets go see what I can find out" and they both walk away. They soon return to let me know they found him and that he is in the "car pick up holding" area and they have walkie talkied them to send him down. He soon appears with his teacher who lets me know I need to send her an email to let her know he will be riding the bus and what bus number (yes she is standing right in front of me and I am telling her) I get her email address and agree to send her an email letting her know he should ride the bus. I feel lost in all these details. Mike says "we just can't we seem to catch on."
We head straight to pick up Whitney who gets in the car and says "High school really sucks when you have no friends!!"-again, with a little more anger this time and a few more tears. "I ate lunch all alone!Do you know what that feels like?" "Oh yeah and I have to have a physical by Monday or I can not tryout for the high school soccer team" we ride in silence. Where am I going to find a Dr. ?
Landon is feeling better this afternoon and goes to football practice. He is going to school tomorrow.
Wednesday morning Teegan does better and we get him on the bus. Landon gets up and starts throwing up right away, he lays on the bathroom floor and tells us he can't do it, he can't go to school. "You will be fine" I tell him, not sure what to do.
That afternoon I drive for an hour each way to get a players pass so Whitney can play in her game this Saturday. You just start getting used to being lost.
I pick Whitney up and things were a bit better today. Landon was riding the bus home. The bus pulls up to the stop at 5:00. He gets out of school at 3:45 and the school is 5 minutes away! I ask how the day went. "I threw up all over the floor in 1st first period" he says barely audible. He does not look good. He is in a bad place. We hurry and get ready for football since we have to be there by 5:30. Dinner that night is quiet. The moral in our house is awful. All the stress from the last month has come crashing down in the last few days. The reality of moving,the reality that we live here, the reality of living in this duplex. Whitney wants to go home, Landon has a big knot in his stomach and hasn't smiled in 3 days and Teegan is just rolling with things. What have we done to our kids? Mike and I wonder.
Next morning same thing, Landon throws up time and time again. Cries and says he can't do it. Then he says with pleading eyes "I can't ride the bus home because I can't sit and listen to all the boys swear for the hour ride." I had found a Dr that was able to fit Whitney in for her physical and it was right after school. "I need you to ride the bus because I won't be home". I feel like I am destroying him. But he is already broken. We send them off hoping things will get better because I am not sure how much longer everyone can keep pushing on.
When I pick Whitney up she is starting to see that she might just survive. Landon comes home and says he threw up at school but he smiles for the first time this week.
Friday morning is more of the same for Landon but Whitney is starting to feel like she may not have friends but she at least has 1 person in most of her classes that she talks to. Things are looking up for everyone except Landon he is still having a hard time. Moving has been so much harder on my kids then we ever expected and it has been harder for Mike and I. I can only hope that this experience is making us stronger people. I hope that when it comes time for Whit to go to college or Land and Teeg to go on their missions it won't be so hard. I know it will help us grow. We have already become closer as a family because we have to rely on each other. I have seen my prayers answered right before my eyes. Last week when thing were so bad the Relief Society came by for a visit and both of them have moved here, one from Utah and they understood how I felt. They understood how the kids felt, they listened and helped me through. The next day I got a call from a ward member asking if Landon could come over and play. We haven't been left alone.
So why do I blog such a downer post. This blog is to document our lives. I feel like this journal entry is important to remember how hard things were. That life isn't always easy.
